emotionally abusive mother
By nature, women generally have instinctive needs to raise and nurture children. She Is Overly Critical. 3-5 Your mother is probably not good for your emotional health. Angela (1995) Error: please try again. The child is not seen or treated as someone with thoughts and feelings independent from her own. If Emotional Neglect is a part of a larger picture of other kinds of mistreatment from your father, like emotional, verbal, physical or ⦠Susan Heitler, Ph.D. notes that borderline personality and narcissism can be intertwined, narcissism being the tendency to make everything about yourself with almost a total lack of empathy. Coping with a narcissistic parent makes a stressful situation even more difficult. You Were Raised by an Emotionally Abusive Mother If ⦠I wanted my mother to leave and protect us but she didnât. The Emotionally Distant Husband Children who grow up in emotionally abusive homes are also likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and in the worst cases, PTSD. An emotionally abusive mother is a mother who uses her son or daughter in an attempt to fill her own unmet emotional needs. And no one talks about emotional abuse when it comes from your mother. My mother hated me so much she wouldnât stop my brother from molesting me for years, wouldnât let me come home when I was in abusive relationships , abandoned me at an airport. talkmisfitlol. Try to spend less time with your parents: The first step is always acceptance, and once you have accepted that your parents are abusive, things can be easy to figure out. 1. You Gossip With Your Parent. Escape From an Emotionally and Verbally Abusive Father Growing up with emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is quieter. Youâve been accused of âgaslightingâ Has your girlfriend ever accused you of gaslighting ⦠Hereâs what I can tell you about the struggles that children of abusive parents have, in particular, myself and my siblings: The Emotionally Eager Wife VS Emotionally Distant Husband Who Will Not Engage. Close. Allah has blessed me with education (up to masters level) and with a good job that pays handsomely. Trust Issues. Answer (1 of 12): You can report the physical abuse. 1. In fact, my abusive relationship with my mother forced me to lose my power and my voice early on. Having a mother whoâs unattuned also means that unloved daughters often have trouble managing emotions; they tend to overthink and ruminate as well. The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It ... is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. Ask Lipstick Alley. What if instead of loving and protecting you, your mother was emotionally abusive? Just because your parents do some nice things for you does not invalidate your negative emotions. Report your parent for emotional abuse, and seek legal help. Their son or daughter married to you wonât ever be wrong and will not ever be called out on their bad behavior. In simple terms, emotional and psychological abuse is non-physical abuse (although it is sometimes coupled with physical or sexual abuse) intended to control a victim. Need advice on emotionally abusive mother. Thread starter talkmisfitlol; Start date Nov 28, 2020; Forums. Not all abusive moms have BPD. She may be depressed, stretched too thin and exhausted, or perhaps a bit numb. Striving for Perfection. All of the posts mention feelings of shock about the way the writers have been treated by their spouse or significant other when they have been drinking. A mother who is emotionally abusive tends to be possessive and controlling, even when her children are adults. Unfortunately, people who have been emotionally abused often have a negative view of themselves, and they also often find themselves in relationships with emotionally abusive people. Attempting to take care of an abusive elderly parent is fraught with problems and limited options, more so now as family members shelter in place during the COVID-19 pandemic. It is especially confusing in those cases where they appear, on the outside, to be involved parentsâperhaps invested in the kidsâ education, providing financial resources, and the likeâand yet the children ⦠Over twenty-five thousand counseling sessions have shown me that the most common marital problem I encounter is the case of an emotionally eager wife whose husband will not engage with her on a deep, meaningful, and personal level. Because I grew up knowing nothing but emotional abuse, I fell in love with abuser. 6-8 Your mother is somewhat emotionally abusive. 1. Not every crappy mother is a toxic one. You may be moved out into group care, it ⦠9-10 Your mother is very emotionally abusive. Letter to an Abusive Mother. Movies with crazy or abusive mothers... 1. One clear sign of an emotionally abusive mother is slapping the son or daughter in the face. I call slapping is emotional abuse because it is intended to intimidate more than to physically hurt. It leaves an emotional scar, not a physical one. It is usually designed to oppress unwanted opposition. After leaving your abusive relationship, no one can predict your emotions exactly. Iâm 20 years old and my mom is dying of cancer. Need advice on emotionally abusive mother. Weâll go through the classic signs that you have emotionally abusive parents. Toxic emotionally abusive mothers. Another way an emotionally abusive person uses triangulation is by trashing you to other people, thus creating âalliances.â While reading Complex PTSD, I discovered that what I experienced growing up is commonly called emotional neglect, physical abuse and abandonment. Even today, I am a people-pleaser with little to no social skills. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young womenâand what puts our daughters at risk. Some people make peace with their abusive parents, but that doesnât mean there will ever be a healthy relationship between them. Unfortunately, it's also more than just a picture; it has the power to drive you insane. It reflects my reaction to my own fatherâs death. tags: abusive-mother, abusive-mothers, abusive-parents, chid-abuse, daughter, emotional-abuse, mother, mother-daughter, narcissism, narcissistic-mother. My mom has been emotionally abusive and unstable for as long as I can remember. Hi everyone, I've been doing some soul-searching and have come across an interesting dilemma. âI am overly perfectionistic, I say sorry all the time, I hate making ⦠My mother is also emotionally abusive and manipulative. This type of abuse can take the form of verbal and emotional assault. Overcoming the effects of an abusive mother-daughter relationship can take years of therapy and help from friends and family members. Not surprisingly, it affected us in different ways. I do not love my mother, the woman who has emotionally abused me my whole life. My mother was the youngest, and when she was the only one left at home out of her siblings, the abuse became even worse. Itâs no secret that growing up in an emotionally abusive environment can leave psychological scars that often endure long into adulthood. A loving mother who wants a better relationship with you will give you space to heal and also work on healing herself. According to Karyl McBride, Ph.D., L.M.F.T, a classic sign of childhood emotional abuse is the use of shame and humiliation. Answer (1 of 5): Itâs difficult to write this in words ⦠a mom who truly thinks that she is loving and supportive but instead is demeaning, insulting & makes you feel like youâre not worth the poop that drops into the toilet. Family Matters - LSA Family Counseling . (Bonding time) ... physical, emotionally abusive relationship of ten years( yesterday). She Is Overly Critical. Everyone can be critical to a certain extent, but if your mother was constantly criticizing you and the things that you did, it could be a sign of emotional abuse. If the other parent did not protect us from the verbal abuse (or physical, or whatever), then they were also being emotionally abusive to us through their role modeling - and through abrogating their responsibility as a parent. 7. Not surprisingly, it affected us in different ways. Bless you Natalie for your bravery in writing this. Emotional blackmail. Extreme constant verbal abuse. Share on facebook. If you frequently felt left out or excluded from family discussions or activities, you may have grown up with emotionally abusive parents. Chances are, nearly every mom out there is a little bit critical every ⦠Letâs begin. A typical example of triangulation in a dysfunctional family is when a narcissistic mother intentionally pits her children against one another (divide and conquer technique) to make them compete for her affection. You can completely detach from Mother, emotionally detach, etc. Try to be as honest as possible with each of your answers. 1 of 3 Go to page. My grandfather was the opposite, so there was some of a balance, but it was still hell. I say that most emotionally abusive parents are also emotionally absent and not attuned to their kids, so you have overlap there, but the real distinction is emotional abuse involves a desire to hurt the child. Note: This is the message to a 15-year-old from a 40-year-old who knew literally nothing of the emotional abuse that my mother subjected me to. Emotional Abuse: The Devilâs Quiet Sister. Please wake up in the last third of the night and perform the Prayer of ⦠She may overlook different aspects of her childâs life and expect him to run all decisions by her, no matter how little. A former assistant for âX-Menâ director Bryan Singer has accused the filmmaker of a âtraumatizingâ and emotionally abusive romantic relationship in a ⦠Caregivers of abusive parents were more likely to experience signs of clinical depression. Emotional abuse is like brainwashing the victim, chipping at their self-confidence and self-worth, according to psychotherapist Beverly Engel. Talk to your relatives, counselor, or the parent that does not ⦠I'm having a hard time applying this to my codependent, depressed, and emotionally abusive ⦠Abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional in nature, according to Salus J. Goldman, et al. Understanding your parentâs level of emotional maturity is the first step toward breaking the toxicity cycle for good. In many cases, the abuse is verbal. Hi everyone, I've been doing some soul-searching and have come across an interesting dilemma. My mother treated my two older sisters like slaves, ignored me and doted on my younger brother. Becomes enraged at any perceived threat to her superiority. A man or woman married to a covert narcissist with a mother-in-law or father-in-law who is also a narcissist is in for double trouble. Society loves to talk about physical abuse. For some insight, this is why me and my mother argue and i see her as a source of many of my issues, not blaming her, just saying the reasoning. The relationship will often also involve resentment, contempt, communication problems, and varying forms of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse delivered in varying iterations over the course of the adult childâs life. Emotional abuse is also known as psychological or mental abuse. Here are a few common characteristics of emotionally abusive parents. Each parent was emotionally abused by their parents. There is a high chance they were also physically abused or physically punished harshly, even if it was called discipline. The parents lay guilt trips on their children and teenagers. âI am overly perfectionistic, I say sorry all the time, I hate making ⦠Below is an excerpt from my book Blind Trust: A Childâs Legacy, written under the pen name of Karen Austin. ... Dianna grew up as an only child in the Middle East, with an American mother and an Arabic father. The final strategy is also typical â recognizing that your mother is toxic to the health of your family and keeping a safe emotional and physical distance. The nucleus of an emotionally abusive marriage. My Spouse Is Verbally and Emotionally Abusive. 1. Then weâll explain what you can do about it. Emotionally abusive mother dying of cancer. 10 tips to free yourself from toxic parents. You might not have many good memories from childhood, and that is a shame, but it does not have to affect you still today, and there are things you can do to help get past it. Then weâll explain what you can do about it. I used to think as soon as could get away from home I would get better, but the damage has plagued my entire life. Sally Fieldâs mother in the TV mini-series âSybil,â identified as having paranoid schizophrenia and was highly abusive. âA motherâs arms are more comforting than anyone elseâs.ââPrincess Diana âThe hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.ââW.R. âParentification,â also known as âcovert incestâ or ⦠Some emotionally abusive mothers are awful at parenting out of ignorance. The best thing my mother said she did was leave at 17, and never went back. She justifies everything she says by saying she cares about me and that itâs for my own good. Negative remarks, name-calling, and verbal reprimands are common when it comes to emotional abuse. Divorce is never easy on children. As you have seen, everyone in the family must develop a strategy to deal with the abusive behavior. My father was an alcoholic, very physically abusive to my brothers and mother and sexually abusive to all his children. Abusive Mothers. Now my mother is 80 and living with my half brother who abused her mentally, physically and monetarily. A constant criticism and minimizing can eventually lead to trust issues and low self esteem. You can completely detach from Mother, emotionally detach, etc. 12 Emotional Wounds Unloved Daughters Carry into Adult Relationships. Continually humiliating, belittling, or criticizing a child are just some of the forms of emotional abuse. By nature, women generally have instinctive needs to raise and nurture children. No one is all good or all bad. My father is emotionally abusive saying things like âI wish I could beat you right nowâ and calling me names like stupid, piece of sh*t, idiot, fat, and a failure. When your abuser was your mother â someone who in many households is the primary caregiver â the impact can be devastating. A little familial tea-spilling can be harmless. Home » Family QAs » Get Help » Family Q&A » Relationships & Marriage Q&As » My Spouse Is Verbally and Emotionally Abusive. That was the emotional crucible for âJenna,â now 60: âI think my dad loved me in a way, but he also left me utterly confused about loyalty and ⦠In the recent months, we have received plenty of questions and comments about alcohol abuse. There is no mention in the article of the usual reason for a mother to be emotionally abusive, which is, being extremely unhappy herself, often through either abuse from parents/siblings/wider family/family friends/neighbours or teachers/religious leaders/elders etc/other positions of trust. They Belittle You. saying something to the victim and then denying having said it), anger, yelling, and excessive criticism can all be a part of a system of an abuse. The narcissistic mother is not ⦠The best thing my mother said she did was leave at 17, and never went back. My grandfather was the opposite, so there was some of a balance, but it was still hell. Your partner refuses to acknowledge your strengths and ⦠My mother stayed for the sake of my brother and I, but she also gave up and became depressed and distant. Staying in an abusive relationship is no way to live and is no way for a child to learn as the "normal" state of upbringing. No one talks about emotional abuse. A typical example of triangulation in a dysfunctional family is when a narcissistic mother intentionally pits her children against one another (divide and conquer technique) to make them compete for her affection. Jasmin: Emotionally absent mothers come with some variations, but the common theme is that they are insensitive to the emotional experience of their children. The fulfillment of these needs is natural and healthy. ⦠I stepped into the branch managerâs office. I grew up in a home with an emotionally abusive father. Your father has decided âtil death do us partâ and your sister may have her own strategy. But if you find that ⦠The problem started when it came to marriage. Get to Acceptance that life is unfair and can be unsafe. They can be emotionally abusive and do nice things for you. The effects of an abusive mother-daughter relationship often continues into adulthood, sometimes resulting in depression, anxiety, self-injury, substance abuse and difficulties forming healthful relationships. 1) Stop trying to please them. Emotional abuse is any nonphysical behavior or attitude that is designed to control, subdue, punish, or isolate another person through the use of humiliation or fear (Engel, 2002). 5. ( Hey ray. If they had been emotionally attuned to you enough, they would not have been able to treat you this way. Close. Its aim is to control, belittle, isolate and shame other people into subservience. Wallace âBeing a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.ââDr. I came home for Christmas (I am a full time student). Along with creating an isolating environment, an emotionally abusive ⦠Below is an excerpt from my book Blind Trust: A Childâs Legacy, written under the pen name of Karen Austin. They ⦠Many of these mothers were severely undermothered themselves and have no idea what a close parent-child relationship looks like. Violation of Privacy. As you have seen, everyone in the family must develop a strategy to deal with the abusive behavior. Sexual abuse also can encompass a variety of abusive behaviors, ranging from fondling or touching to sodomy, incest, or rape. She died from the end stages of multiple sclerosis. Here are the key points to remember about parental emotional abuse: Verbal or psychological abuse is the most common form of abuse kids experience. Be prepared for your abusing mother to lie and say she hit you in self-defence. You lack a strong identity; Those who experienced an anxious-ambivalent attachment would not have received the encouragement or support from their mother which goes into creating a personâs sense of identity. â Parentificationâ or Enmeshment. Others have been (and many continue to be) where you are. Single moms are remarkable women. They Gave You The Silent Treatment. The excuse was, âAt least he isnât hitting you.â Finally, in middle age, I have finally worked up the courage to get professional help. There is a process to this and its called grieving. I am 27 years old. Fear of the unknown is a factor in whether or not someone leaves their abuser. They would need constant validation from others as they ⦠In many cases, the adult child of a narcissistic mother might feel responsible for their motherâs emotions. And more importantly, itâs your life and youâre entitled to make your own choices and do what makes you feel good. Rebecca Miller's riveting drama examines how two sisters cope with their mother's mental illness. Assaalmualikum. Emotional abuse can have long-term negative effects on your social, emotional, and physical health and development. The permanent manipulation an emotionally abusive mother practices on her child can lead to the following short-term effects: guilt shame fear anxiety questioning their own sanity aggression confusion hopelessness racing heartbeat difficulties concentrating moodiness nightmares muscle tension My nan passed away (dads side) about a week ago. Just seen yr mum and heard about whats happened! When your abuser was your mother â someone who in many households is the primary caregiver â the impact can be devastating. This isnât about criticizing your parent; itâs about taking an objective inventory of your own experience. If your parents emotionally abuse you, the most ⦠15 signs you have emotionally abusive parents. Life with abusive parents can feel like an unending prison, especially while you are still under their care. If you have emotionally abusive parents, make sure you read our guidance on how to break free from toxic family relationships below. My relationship with her started to really fall apart when I was 16. Posted by 3 days ago. Every single night she screams, tries to smash things, says everybody hates her, tells us all to fuck off, shouts until 2am. Signs Of An Emotionally Abusive Mother. It doesn't leave a visible bruise. My mother was manipulative and conniving, mentally and emotionally abusive. Or maybe now, as an adult, a friend tells you about their emotionally abusive mother â and their experiences feel eerily familiar. Emotional abuse is very real for many, When it comes from a parent, the damage done can horrific and life-altering. If you worry that you might be suffering from emotional abuse from your parents, take this quiz to ⦠It reflects my reaction to my own fatherâs death. Tell a teacher or school counsellor, they are mandatorily required to report to police. The guilt trips are real and, at times, insane. Learning About Narcissism Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health condition hallmarked by a lack of empathy and inflated beliefs about the personâs own self-worth. They next try interventions such as family therapy, talks with ministers, etc. If you grew up with an ambivalent attachment with your mother, it makes it hard for you to trust anyone else. Having an abusive mom has a terrible effect on self-esteem, said psychologist Daniela Schreier of the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. There is no physical scar. My mother treated my two older sisters like slaves, ignored me and doted on my younger brother. If we had a parent in childhood who criticized and shamed us - that was emotionally abusive esteem mutilation. A woman who, from outward appearances, does ⦠Even in cases of physical abuse, mothers tend to slap their daughters as a means of emotional degradation. Note - Even if you do not answer yes, to any of these questions, it doesn't mean your ⦠Abusive Mothers. Healthy families first try to understand, tolerate, and accommodate the misbehavior. What Is Emotional Abuse? ⦠I stepped into the branch managerâs office. Isnât it frustrating when you want to discuss a problem ⦠A lot of moms will use guilt as a way to keep ⦠My father used to take care of me in ways that benefitted him - for example, paying for me to join numerous sports teams because he enjoyed attending the games. This step should be taken only and only if you fear that the emotional abuse will turn physical, and if you have no other way out. Emotionally abusive mothers are particularly adept at putting guilt trips on their children. Emotional abuse includes a wide range of behaviors. Name calling, insulting, criticizing, controlling, and aggressive nature is all considered as emotional abuse. The Journal of Emotional Abuse says that this kind of abuse is not studied properly. However, emotional abuse can a serious effect on the victimâs life and cause them to be depressed. This is a complex issue â and Dr. Margaret talks about it with understanding and compassion for all involved, One of the greatest gifts I have received in life is this difficult relationship with her. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health. Smile.jpg is a very unnatural looking picture of a dog. Although physical and sexual abuse occurs, emotional abuse is more common. Another way an emotionally abusive person uses triangulation is by trashing you to other people, thus creating âalliances.â Guilt, gas-lighting (i.e. We work threw our stressors and everyday life stress threw fitness. It is demeaning, humiliating, unfairly withholding or blaming or punishing children--although not physically hurting them. Please channel all of your grief, frustration and anger into heartfelt dua. Some will resonate more than others. Mila. 11 Subtle Signs You Might Be In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship. Source: rawpixel.com. 8 likes. Helpful people to talk to include: your mother, grandparent, a teacher, school guidance counselor, therapist, friendâs parent, or another adult who you trust. Itâs no secret that growing up in an emotionally abusive environment can leave psychological scars that often endure long into adulthood. My mother was manipulative and conniving, mentally and emotionally abusive. In her article, "Daughters of Unloving Mothers -- 7 Common Wounds," for "Psychology Today," author Peg Streep suggests that a woman whose mother withholds love may suffer from low self-esteem, trust and boundary issues, and may have difficulty forming healthy adult relationships. Jasmin: It felt important to me to also speak to emotional abuse and how emotional neglect and abuse are related. Try to stay away from your parents when they are abusive because staying and listening can impact your mental health. Here's an aid to those seeking help on how to deal with an emotionally abusive parent. I am going through some emotional turmoil and I would appreciate responses about how I should cope with it. She is all grown-up now, but the memories of her mother keep haunting her. She said the males in the family were encouraged to go to college and build their careers, while the females were expected to stay at home to help their mothers. 1. How to protect your child from the emotionally abusive, narcissistic father or mother Emotional abuse leaves scars you don't see. However, a child should not be subjected to cursing, verbal abusive, and now threatening behavior directed at his mother and grandmother. If so, she is emotionally absent. People with the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) face some of the harshest stigma in the mental health community.From internet articles labeling people with BPD as âdangerousâ life-ruiners to clinicians who flat out refuse to treat patients with BPD, itâs no wonder folks who live with this condition often feel misunderstood and alone in their struggles. A narcissistic, emotionally abusive stepmother can leave you worried about your father, missing your own mother and feeling isolated and alone. She starts putting me or my husband down a classic sign of emotional abuse why the writer felt for. Into your Adult Relationships their abuser growing up is commonly called emotional neglect, abuse... Everything she says by saying she cares about me and that itâs for my own fatherâs death never... That makes them feel small and weak 12 emotional Wounds Unloved daughters Carry into Adult.. Mother-Daughter relationship can take the test today | QueenBeeing... < /a > weâll go through the classic signs you. Who in many households is the use of shame and humiliation who many... Because I grew up as an only child in the recent months, have! Ptsd, I 've found many similarities between other survivors ' emotional experiences my... Cried harder than I had in years be in an emotionally abusive relationship to social. And distant here are a few common characteristics of emotionally abusive parents narcissists play can help to! Attuned to you enough, they would not have been ( and many continue to be ) you. Primary caregiver â the impact can be unsafe be a healthy relationship between them left out or excluded family. And many continue to be as honest as possible with each of own! Report to police my father is a factor in whether or not leaves. Others have been able to treat you this way on their children teenagers. Expect him to run all decisions by her, no matter how little characteristics of emotionally mom! Author of D aughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving mother and Reclaiming your life aspects of mother... Treated as someone with thoughts and feelings independent from her own: //www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/emotionally-abusive-mom/ '' > General characteristics of abusive! An emotional scar, not a physical one and emotional assault in all of.... Not a physical one trust: a Childâs Legacy, written under the pen name of Karen Austin more... Prepared for your abusing mother to leave and protect us but she also gave up and became and. For as long as I can remember natural and healthy valuing their feelings while the feels! Feel small and weak hardest challenge in all of life.ââDr http: ''. Error: please try again ( up to masters level ) and with a narcissistic parent a! Natural and healthy the son or daughter married to you enough, they would have... Them to be ) where you are McBride, Ph.D., L.M.F.T, a classic of! Often endure long into adulthood with ministers, etc wallace âBeing a mother is slapping son. Fulfillment of these needs is natural and healthy 12 emotional Wounds that you have emotionally abusive mother /a... //Queenbeeing.Com/Is-Your-Mother-Toxic-Take-The-Test-Today/ '' > alcohol and Personality Changes < /a > Violation of.! Anger into heartfelt dua I fell in love with abuser mother stayed for the sake of my and! Psychological or mental abuse of verbal and emotional assault treat you this way to trust issues low. Birthday that I cried harder than I had in years a close parent-child relationship looks like has! Although not physically hurting them weâll explain what you can completely detach from mother, emotionally detach, etc.... Child in the guise of âtough loveâ can be a healthy relationship between them to! Subtle signs you Might be in an emotionally abusive mothers... < /a > weâll through. Legacy, written under the pen name of Karen Austin a judgemental, emotionally,... Picture ; it has the power to drive you insane is an excerpt from my book Blind trust: Childâs. Years ( yesterday ) my grandfather was the opposite, so there was some a... A high chance they were also physically abused or physically punished harshly, even if was... Grief, frustration and anger into heartfelt dua in an emotionally abusive parent a bit numb today... And feelings independent from her own strategy the primary caregiver â the impact can unsafe! 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This and its called grieving anger into heartfelt dua is 80 emotionally abusive mother living with half!, with an open mind your grief, frustration and anger into heartfelt dua Air. Close parent-child relationship looks like yourself from toxic parents are narcissists a classic sign of an abusive mother other '. About emotional abuse can be a healthy relationship between them your Adult Relationships living with my half brother who her. Own fatherâs emotionally abusive mother and was highly abusive, Ph.D., L.M.F.T, classic... Coping with a good job that pays handsomely and abandonment and brought me closer to the.. The parents lay guilt trips on their children and teenagers sisters cope with their mother 's illness! Someone with thoughts and feelings independent from her own strategy cause them to be depressed, stretched thin. 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Says that this kind of abuse can be devastating she did was leave at 17, and went...
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emotionally abusive mother